Scrub-a-dub
Combine water play with some constructive accomplishments. You and the kids put on your bathing suits, get out scrub brushes, soap, and the hose. Work together to scrub down the patio furniture, the kitchen table, and chairs, or whatever needs to be cleaned. When everybody is tired and the worst of the dirt is off the furniture, rinse it and put on a coat of wax. Yes, you could do it faster and neater alone, but the object is to spend constructive time having fun with your children.

Heavenly Fireworks
We all watched the fireworks in July, but August brings natural fireworks. If your family stays up late around August 10 -14, you can view the Perseid Meteor Shower. An average of 65 meteors will light up the sky each hour as they move towards the Earth. Viewing will start after dark, but the best show is after midnight. On any clear summer night, look for the big and little dipper.

Many of our activities will be done outside each day, check our daily themes.

We will be using the pirate’s treasure for many of our classifying activities, if you have any old “junk” jewelry which you could donate for our activities we would appreciate it. Also we will be using medicine droppers, sea shells, and rocks for many activities, If you have any of these to donate, we will put them to good use.

READY OR NOT!

My mother always asserted that all four of her children were out of diapers well before they were a year old. Considering the absence of washers and dryers, indoor plumbing, and disposable diapers, you can understand her determination. Based upon what we now know about how children develop intellectually, physically and emotionally most would be somewhat disapproving of her inappropriate expectations.   She was, however, simply conforming to the practical realities and social pressures of her time. Just like we do now when doctors and other experts warn against the emotional damage of “pushing” children and urge us to “wait until they are ready” to give up diapers, pacifiers, and bottles, and to conform to other social expectations.

In spite of my mother’s claims we now recognize that very few children have the cognitive ability or physical capacity to be toilet trained at one year of age. But because of society’s expectations for good mothers, she became adept at training herself to accommodate our natural schedules and to recognize the slightest physical indicators so she could rush us to the toilet and avoid wet diapers.   With more modern conveniences early toilet training became less necessary and the experts rightly began to warn us of the emotional consequences of inappropriate expectations. So today’s parents, in an effort to avoid the mistakes of my mother’s generation, wait, and wait for some mysterious sign that their child is ready to magically move to the next level of development. Increasingly, we are seeing children nearing four without being toilet trained, still using a pacifier, taking a bottle, and displaying other inappropriate social behaviors. Parents say, “Oh well, they just aren’t ready yet!” These lowered expectations are no less harmful or inappropriate than were my mother*s.

Sometime around 2 1/2 years of age, most typically developing children are mobile enough to get to the toilet on their own. They have bladders large enough that their diapers are occasionally dry and changes are required only periodically. They can recognize their own physical sensations that indicate that they have or are about to urinate or move their bowels, and can use words to verbalize their bathroom needs to adults. These are the indicators that signal that a child is “ready” to start training. “Ready” does not mean that the process will be easy or totally stress free. Pull-ups have made it increasingly tempting for parents to disregard these signs of readiness and to continue to wait for them to be more “ready”. I have yet to work with a child who wakes up one morning, says, “I’m ready” and never has another accident. As adults we must learn the signs of readiness and accept responsibility to teach and motivate them to move from reflexively urinating whenever physical sensations occur to thinking and planning their actions. If children do not receive this assistance, reflexive behaviors become inappropriate habits and toilet training becomes even more difficult.

This theory of readiness applies to many other aspects of a child’s life. A pacifier is an appropriate way for infants to facilitate reflex sucking. But that reflex lasts only for about 3 – 6 months. Yet when the child spits out the pacifier (indicating, “I am ready to do without it right now!”). Parents, seeking to comfort their child, ignore the sign of readiness and put the pacifier back in the child’s mouth again and again until she gives up and sucks on it. Instead of using it to meet only that short-term reflexive need, children are pressured to form a habit that is difficult to break. Children express an interest in self-feeding, but a bottle is easier, neater, and it puts them to sleep. Parents use lack of readiness to excuse a child’s behavior. “He’s not ready to share yet”.

If we are not careful, the expert’s caution to wait until a child is “ready” can limit that child’s achievements with inappropriately low expectations. Parents must determine what is required physically and intellectually to master each new skill and objectively look at their child’s development. When the child shows the appropriate signs of readiness, it is our responsibility to help them move on regardless of whether we are ready to give up the current comfortable behaviors or not.

This philosophy is important at every stage of development. In addition to determining when to start toilet training, it can help you decide if your child has the skills to be expected to start kindergarten, cross the street, take swimming lessons, drive the car, date, or go away to college. Good parenting is always hard work.

I collect words like other people collect buttons or baseball cards and “resolution”, as in New Year’s resolution, is one of the best in my collection. It is derived from the Latin root “resolvere” which means to again loosen up, dissolve, or melt away. That is what we do each New Year. We try, by making a New Year’s resolution, to once again make our problems melt away!

Resolve can be used as a noun or a verb and has as many as 17 different meanings depending upon the context in which it is used! Each year at this time we resolve (analyze) our lives looking for some change we can make that will make us better people. We resolve (solve again) the problems which confront us. We resolve (reach a decision) to concentrate on our resolve (fixed intention or settled purpose) to make changes which we hope will resolve (transform) our life. If we stick to that resolve (fixed intention or settled purpose) with resolve (determination) then maybe … just maybe we can make some real changes in our lives.

Although emphasis upon change and improvement is increased at the beginning of the year, productive and emotionally healthy people make it an ongoing process not limited to New Year’s Eve. A worthwhile resolution for this New Year would be to teach our children how to resolve (bring to a conclusion) their own problems. As a child, when I was faced with a tough problem, my mother would sit back, fold her arms and firmly remind me that, “every tub must sit on its own bottom!” At the time, I didn’t think much of her advice! I didn’t realize that by stepping back and insisting that I solve my own problems she was helping me to accept that I, and only I was responsible for my life. As much as we would like to…we can’t solve problems for our children. If we attempt to do so, in the long run, we only make life more difficult for them. Although I didn’t appreciate her then, I have since been thankful that I had such a wise mother.

Although as a parent you can’t resolve (determine or decide) life for your children, you can help them learn how to resolve (break up into separate parts and analyze) their problems so that they can resolve (make clear and understand) the best course of action to take. When your children come to you with complaints about life’s (or their friends’) unfairness, remain calm…don’t be overcome with sympathy! Help them to retell what happened. What actions did they take? What actions did others take? How did their actions affect others? How could they have changed their own behavior? How would that have affected the situation? What are possible courses of action to prevent or deal with another occurrence? What course will they choose? What do they think will be the outcome?

That’s the easy part…now you must insist that they implement their solution with resolve (firm determination).   The first try might not resolve (melt away) the problem, they might have to try again and again. As they become adults, the ability to resolve (analyze and bring to a conclusion) their problems with resolve (determination) will take them further in life than all the help, assistance, relief, succor, support, aid, consolation, or solace, you can give them. Happy New Year!